The holidays can bring about an abundance of feelings, both good and not so good. I would like to take a moment to spotlight those of you who may be feeling down, or worse, this holiday season.
For some people, Christmas is a time to join with friends and family, be merry and celebrate. For other people, Christmas can bring on feelings of isolation, loneliness and sadness. Everywhere you look, there are lights, advertisements and songs telling you that you should be psyched that Christmas is here. Some of us aren’t, and that can make us feel really guilty (“Stop being a bummer – it’s Christmas! Be happy!”) and alone.
To anyone who doesn’t feel loved, or like they belong (isolated) or who are spending the holidays alone, please remember this: you mean something. You mean something to the people around you; to the world. You are playing a role, changing lives and making a difference just by being you – and while you may not see it, especially when it’s darkest, I promise there is nothing about you that is pointless. There is nothing about you that is unworthy, and I am so sorry that that nagging, awful, crippling part of you is telling you those things – especially amplified by the Xmas hype – but you do belong. You are not alone. You are loved.
This holiday season, if you’re not feeling well, that is okay. You don’t have to feel good, but you do deserve to feel safe. If you don’t, there are organisations available to lend you a helping hand, and I can’t recommend them enough. If you’re feeling out of control, perhaps spiraling, calling emergency services is the best thing to do – help you, they will. I can’t stress this enough: you deserve to feel safe.
For me, sometimes it’s helpful to try and tune into your body. What’s it telling you? Are you hungry for ice cream? Do you need a nap? Do you need to go outside? Call a friend? I know I often ignore my body (unless it’s rocky road ice cream) because what it wants seems too overwhelming, or I just fight it for who-knows-why. When that happens, I just take it easy and set myself little goals. Get a glass of water, use the restroom, brush my teeth, watch a video, read a chapter, pet my dog for a while. It makes me feel accomplished and I get ice cream.
For those who are super stoked on Christmas, please remember to be patient with your loved ones who are having a tough time this season. Just this morning, a friend of mine did something that meant the world to me. She asked if I was going to be able to meet her for breakfast, and when I told her “No, I’m having trouble getting out of bed.” and was riddled with guilt. She didn’t even hesitate: “No worries, I’ll come to you. What do you want from Sbux” (yes, she called it Sbux). It was a bit further for her to drive, but it meant more to me than I could express to her. If you experience a situation that calls for it, I can assure you that your patience, kindness and compassion will go far.
Holistically, it’s important to remember the other perspectives too. There are people who are absolutely stoked that it’s Christmas time, and that’s okay too. It could be the only time a person can get off work to see family, be it a much needed break, or a spiritual time of year – Christmas is very important to some people, and while it can be tough to engage in it (or even understand it), we can still be considerate of it. The holidays aren’t a coin with two opposites sides, and that’s helpful to remember too. I personally love the crap out of Christmas, but that hasn’t stopped me from feeling sad, alone and anxious.
I wont take up anymore of your time, but I hope this season (and always) you’ll remember that no matter where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing – you matter. You matter a lot.
Merry all the things and Happy days ahead.
